The bear comes out of hibernation

The snow and ice have melted and the local falls are roaring

The snow and ice have melted and the local falls are roaring

Depression is a difficult thing to live with and keep under control. Managing my mood is part of my daily maintenance that I have to keep ahead of. Sometimes it’s hard to wear all those hats of who I am – mother, daughter, community member, social worker, social justice advocate, writer…depressive.

I have written before about my struggles with S.A.D. but I have recently come to realize that my depression has so much more to it than just the season. I suppose moving back to where I grew up has made me see that and although it has been hard to face, I think it is better for me to deal with it and work on my personal healing in my home community.

I went through a pretty dark depressive episode this winter. I haven’t felt that way in years and it scared me. Depression is something that has haunted me since my early twenties and I think there has always been a part of me that has feared the darkness overcoming me again. I’m feeling better now, but I realize that taking care of myself has to be my top priority.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. I feel like I am coming out of the other side of the depression tunnel and things are looking up. I love my new job. It took some time to find my niche and fit in, but now I am feeling comfortable and I have some great ideas and projects to work on. One of the most exciting things about my job is that I have an opportunity to write for the community newsletter and I’m hoping to get an agency blog started. It’s not a big deal really, but it’s something that makes me feel good and well, I’m a writer at heart so any chance to share my writing is welcome.

Moving my family out of the city to a small town has been harder than I thought it would be. But all in all, everything is good. The kids are happy, I have a job that I love and the long winter is finally over. Spring has arrived.

I’m looking forward to doing some spring cleaning and finding happiness in the simplicity of daily life.

Follow me on Instagram: @bearheartwoman

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11 thoughts on “The bear comes out of hibernation

  1. EllyWendy

    Thank goodness! I’ve been missing you. I completely understand and, in fact, wondered if moving back north would prove hard on you in terms of depression. Many people do better further south, with more winter light . . . If you don’t have a few SAD lights around the house, please get some. They made all the difference for me. And congrats on all the successes. I’m glad you’re well and progressing. It’s also vital that the public become more informed about all the difficult issues you are confronting. Good for you. Cheers!

    Reply
    1. callmeshebear Post author

      Thanks! Yeah I guess moving further north for someone with winter depression was not the brightest idea! lol I do have a UV lamp but didn’t use it at all this winter. Duh. We’re only a four hour drive north of Toronto, but the winters here seem so much longer. Next winter, I’m planning a vacation in warmer climates!

      Reply
      1. EllyWendy

        lol, a vacation for about 3 months, I hope. I’m as far south in Canada as possible, and I need two πŸ˜‰ I’m not sure a UV lamp is the same thing. (?) True SAD lamps are very specific in their light spectrum. I had things organized in my last house, gradually changing things so that my living-style oriented to where the morning light came from. Then I moved here, in the summer. Now … gad, waaaay! too much shade in the winter and I’m using the SAD lights again, grrrr. Light, particularly morning light, is essential for many of us.
        Enjoy your vacation next year πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  2. Jenny

    Hi Billie, it’s nice to see you posting though I’m sorry to read that you’ve had a tricky old winter. Depression is horrible but you are doing your best by being kind to yourself, and now that Spring is here you’ll find pleasure in taking your beautiful photographs again and enjoying the natural environment around you.
    The depression will pass and your energy will return. Sending you lots of love from England,
    Jenny

    Reply
  3. Heather

    Glad to see you back! This has been a particularly grueling winter for many people, but I imagine it’s more difficult on someone with your mental health history. Glad the move sounds like the right one.

    Reply
  4. Jesse Accidental Adventurer

    I am glad to see you post again. The winter was long and hard on a lot of people. We decided to stop fighting it and moved from a place where there was always a lot of winter gloom, to the mountains of Arizona USA. We do have four seasons here and a little snow, but the thing we do have almost everyday is sunshine, glorious sunshine. It has improved our lives immeasurably.
    Hang in there.

    Reply

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